you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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