Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
