This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
