It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
