it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
