Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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