so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
