my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
do herpes really smell.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
