Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
