at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize