You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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