90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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