I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
