No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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