hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
