I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
