I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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