i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
