i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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