okay pat passed out under dana's car
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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