She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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