Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
