A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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