I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
