so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
