I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
