Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am available for nakedness
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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