All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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