y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
