I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
