it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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