How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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