I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
