watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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