i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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