I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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