would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
