Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
