If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
