okay pat passed out under dana's car
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
