I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have post one night stand depression
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