I forgot how hot balto sounded
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
