good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
