One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think i have herpe
just one?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
