dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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