Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I will pee on everything he values.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
