oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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