So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
