thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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