maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
