She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
