May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
