And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drake has all the answers
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize