i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
