I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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