There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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