Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
