Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
