He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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