Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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