Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize