just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
