drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
