i don't like sucking hair
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
