Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
