at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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