i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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