grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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