Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
